Oy vey.

This is something I've been saying too much. It's been substituted for things I formally said like, "Geez" and "Dang, woman!"
For instance, this evening I was taking a nap after I got home from a day of dusting and scrubbing at the Hall's. I was soaking into my sheets and covers, curled up and in that lovely state of nearly falling asleep and losing all of those ugly freezing sensations, when Jonjon yells, "NAT!"
I groaned and yelled back, "What?"
And the answer came back, that question I've learned to dread over the years, "Can you make the tea?"
I told him to leave me alone and that I was taking a nap. However, I have this guiltiness that is always creeps inside of me when I flatly refuse someone, and so I threw myself over my bed, and complained to the heavens, "OY VEY."

I kind of like the feeling of waking up after a nap, still in my jeans and my hair falling all over the place, discovering under my eyes smeared mascara, and them wishing they had never been opened, and the shortness of breath that follows this. For some reason. I can't explain it.

I finally cleared all of the books off of my bed, so I no longer have all of my belongings (scarves, pants, blankets, alarm clock) strewn all over the family room, where I have been living since Saturday night. In fact, my entire room looks pretty fantastic. I cleaned it.
Half of the wallpaper is no longer on it, and it gives it a sort of ghetto/bad hotel room look I'm enjoying. I've never been happier with the place.

Last night as I was laying in couch, dealing with my insomnia, something shocking hit me. (Don't worry, it was something completely immaterial.)
I could perhaps, maybe, might...be spending Valentine's Day alone!
Not that I usually spend it with some dashing young fellow, but with Amy. But Brett Townsend is Amy's new interest, and Amy is Brett Townsend's new interest, which could mean they would be doing something together on Valentine's Day.

Now I'm walking away, humming the sad Charlie Brown tune to myself, head bowed.
At least I should be.
Maybe I will just ask a boy out before then.
teehee.

Jeremy Weber, listen to Beirut. they're astoundingly cool.

i am tearing off the wallpaper of my room. right, not steaming, but tearing. my dad came in and tore off a big piece as i was prepping to steam, and i thought, "all right! will do just like that, Pop!" so i've been tearing with my lovely pink knife i got at sears hardware.
my room is going to look unfurnished for a while. :)

Ever feel that you can't go to bed because you feel so dissatisfied?
You don't want to go to bed because then this dissatisfaction will carry to the next day and therefore, be doubley dissatisfying. This is how I feel.

sometimes nothing is right.

Merry Christmas.

jump! into the leaves. i raked them just for you.

Happy First Day of December!

I think this should be a national holiday, the start of the twenty-five days of Christmas! Everyone should go outside and rake in celebration. I did. It was lovely. Listening to my headphones with my friend Bob Dylan singing,

"She's got everything she needs,
She's an artist, she don't look back
She can take the dark out of the nighttime
And paint the daytime black."

It was so cold, but I got used to it, and then it only felt nice after that.
Good old Winter. How good it is.

nothing but a tribute

"feelings pervate me
that i try to scatter
but since it comes to nothing
they don't really matter
the polyphonic voice
that beckons in my head...
it must be quieted since
my place here is dead."
-Jer.Weber

yes, he has great lyrics, and he's my brother. for life.

i went to see my friend shane play tonight (and some other bands) at a benefit show. i gave a whole $5 to helping the senior towle-ians go on their senior trip. i tried to get my other friend matt, who was manning the money box to let me in for free...but to no avail. instead i gave up and made him draw me an awesome stamp on my right hand.

they'll begin leaving tomorrow and i'll be left at home to study for the SATS and apply to more colleges.
whoop-dee-doo.

I'm having the worst freaking pain of my life.

Address it to J.Weber, J.Weber, and K.Weber, please.

Happy Birthday, Brothers and Mom!

i love you all dearly.

I had the wonderful pleasure this afternoon of singing to a great big bunch of old people.

I'm officially one of those crazy people that has every kind of blog. One of those people that has to have a part in everything. That's saying something, i know it...perhaps i am living too much through the computer. -and i say this on a blog! blogspot though, i feel is very different from facebook or myspace or xanga. at least for me it is. i'm more personal on blogspot than any of those, mostly because i don't have a full community of blogspotters around me, so i feel that i can be more explicit with what i say on here.

you know what i wish? i wish i could take a writing class on the literary works of J.D. Salinger. i think that would be perfect.

i can't believe this is my senior year in highschool. when i think about the SATs, and how i'll probably do horribly on them and then not get accepted to any colleges, it makes me get this horrible feeling of anxiousness in my stomache. i hate being anxious, it's one of the worst things to feel like. it's like, if you could only stop thinking about the future and worrying about it, then you could have fun now. if only.
man, i don't even know what colleges i'm going to apply to yet. i'll probably apply to Delaware (just because it's so close, but i don't want to go there), Covenant, Carson Newman...but other than that, i don't really know. i just want to go to a college that will be good for me, you know? a place God wants me to be at...but i have no idea what he wants. i need to pray more, and get direction. that's what i need.

Break me off a piece of that...

If you think you're getting a piece without singing the song, think again, son.
That's my new rule.
Like it? I think it adds a little quirk to life...but only if your life occasionally contains kit kats.

"We are always living in twilight."

they write songs. really well. songs called "Painting by Chagall" and "Nobody Knows Me", and i'm proud to say that i found them all by myself. i introduced them to my family, who bought their album
"Say I am You" and gave it to me.

they will be pleasant to your ears. check 'em out.

Today is different.

Friday and Saturday were so unspeakably depressing for me. I woke up on friday, did school, and then made pizza for the bible study that we hold every other week. People came, people went. I knew that nothing was exciting, and nothing was going to lift my mood. Not because I didn't want to feel better, but it was just a gray day with no silver lining. I hung out with some people who are my friends, but who are older than I am. We watched Fight Club, which I wasn't at all yearning to see. I went to sleep at 2:00 and woke up at 12:00 saturday. After going out and picking up some breakfast with Amy, I did school all day and made a dump cake. The day was hot and muggy, and I had a headache all day, a blazin' one. I think the most depressing thing about the day was that I went to a bonfire with my church last night in seventy-five degree weather. I mean, what gives? I called my BFF (haha) Renee to see if she wanted to hang out, but she said that she was hanging out with her mom and watching a movie. She was my last hope, and she was hanging out with her mother.
"This is stupid." I said to myself. Nothing really good or bad was happening: the volume of the day was medium, the grass was withering, and I had a headache.

Today things are different. My sister and brother in-law are officially leaving to florida. I was also just informed that my brother and his girlfriend broke up last night after dating for four years.

Whenever nothing is happening I need to be more content...I feel so bad for JonJon.
Hang in there man.

The day kate almost broke my finger...

This post goes out to Mardell Brown, who died last Tuesday.

She went to be with the Lord. A more amazing woman, I have never met.
She was a hero.

tempted by the sunrise, only and hour and a half away

You may be wondering why I'm awake at this killer hour in the morning. it's 4:20 am. The reason is that I'm dumb and young. Actually, the real reason is that I just read a book for over 6 hours straight and finished it. I realized that I had to be done with it by monday, so why not just finish it before the weekend got started?
Of course now I feel sick to my stomache.
It's so late,
and I think I might die of exhaustion.
But I'm young.
I can handle it.
I've got bags under my eyes,
they would hold a world of travel maps,
they're so big.

They really are. My mum came up and studied my face this morning, and said, "Oh dear, hunny, look at those bags under your eyes...you need more sleep."
And for some reason, now I'm happy about them. They prove that I finished that book (which I thought was neverending).
But now my body's telling me that I need sleep. --And that I'm stupid.

Au voir! Ashante!
(I'm fakin' that french, but I know Johnny M. would smile if he read it).

nw

the Feist show

These colors are attrocious.

Yes. That is the last straw. What was I thinking when I made my blog this color? It would be better to be white. Maybe they belong somewhere in the world...like on a Barbie, or a teddy bear, or somewhere where nobody can see it, but certainly not on a blog. At least not mine. The very feeling it gives me I despise. The real tragedy here is that I don't have any time to change it! I'm in need of sleep. I need to sleep away all those hours I spent at my classes and in Chorale. When I got home I grabbed some fast food (plain, soft flour tortilla shells...I have a facination with them) and some ice cold tea, and headed upstairs where I found a Rolling Stones magezine and my new favorites--Band of Horses. It is a fault of mine to not try something because "I don't think I'll like it". Band of Horses, for instance, was discovered by my brothers at the same time that they were (are) into bands like Animal Collective and The Fiery Furnaces. I immedietly thought that this band would be exactly like the others, not that there is anything so very wrong about those bands, but I just can't get into them very well. But I put B of H on my ipod, and I just put everything on my ipod because I have a ton of crazy space on it, and I barely know how to fill it up and I made it a point to try them out...and wala! I'm already beginning to memorize lyrics. So as I was saying, I put this band on, and it calmed me. Today was...rough on my pride. I'm used to having alot of friends wherever I go in school or church, or whatever. However, most of my friends in Mount Sophia graduated last year, and now that I'm taking classes there, I actually have to face the fact that I know not that many people. that. well. There are alot of people my age, but we only exchange short pleasantries like compliments on each other's clothing or hair. I went to my first class, and that was O.K. I met a girl named Matsy who had a neat look and cool freckles, and we talked a little with this other girl named Christy. After class was a little too awkward for me though, I had to stay there for another hour and a half before my next class started. I walked around thinking of what I could possibly do for lunch, and trying to find a nice sitting place where I could get some school work done. Someone I know named Stephen gave me a gingerbread cookie--that was my lunch, boys.

Not for this to be a pity letter or anything, I just want to let you know that this Weber is a dork. Ha! It's true. I knew it was coming. It's a shame, I'm going to have to get used to this new title...haha.

On a much cooler note, I'm going to see Feist on Friday. It should a holy goshen blast. And I hope you know that not all of this ranting-post was entirely serious.

Seventeen years ago, on the evening of September 1rst, my mom was painting.

At 3 or 4 am on September 2nd, I was born.

So,

Hello, Birthday.

It's their time.

Renee and Shane are my homefries: they're going to the University of Delaware.
John is discovering Washing State University.
Bethany is going to be off traveling the world.
Jeremy is at Covenant College in Georgia.
Keri, very excitedly, went back to Lancaster Bible College.
Anna to Westchester University.
Hannah went back to Carson Newman in her good old, Dolly Parton-loving state, Tennessee.
Jon went back to Emery and Henry in Virginia.

These are everyday pictures of people who are all very dear to me.
Hurray for friends! And cryptozoology.